Staying in

"Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead."

II Corinthians 1:9

We are weak human beings. Even as I am posting this I had an urge to watch Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman versus posting this post i.e. spending more quiet time with God. Thankfully I decided to post this instead and ended up finding a cool vid of Casting Crowns's "Who Am I" song.

It saddens me to think that many of us are brought closer to God only because we are going through some sort of trial or another, but then again.. why not? As it says in the verse, it "happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God." It's sort of the way my family and I were brought closer together. If it were not for all the tears and the pain, we definitely would not enjoy our laughters as much nor with each other as often. I'm just thankful that I hold my family so dearly. Others seem to love their family, but not know them well. I have the pleasure of getting to know who they are and loving them for who they are; not just because they're my family. They have accepted me for who I am and love me regardless.

I just hope that my family can return to God.. have a strong foundation as they once had. I can not know what kind of relationship they have with God nor is my relationship any less rockier, but I can pray for the well-being of their lives as well as mine. And I do not mean worldly well-being.. I am struggling with the thought of being another citizen of this world or an ambassador of God. I really don't care for such things as beauty, purses, and what others think of me... but somehow I do desire worldly things like a faster computer, better camera, movies to watch, etc. I really wish I didn't...

I don't care for having a job that pays. I want a career that God has set aside for me whether it means teaching at an elementary school in Korea or backpacking across the world with nothing, but a Bible to share the good news.

So many things can be done with words.. I'm afraid to say the wrong things or have the worst timing.

But what more could I lose that hasn't already been lost?

God loves you whether you know, think, or believe he does/doesn't exist.

*{It's not because of who I am, but because of what He's done. Not because of what I've done, but because of what He is.}