Gifts

When speaking of gifts I'm thinking of what I can give unto others.


I'm not good with words nor with my hands. I can not say things that will flatter you into liking me nor make items that are so adorably cute that will cause you to associate that cuteness with me.


I can not say the right things in the right manner...
Nor can I make things as well as others.


All I have to give is this Love that God has and is continually giving me.
Without this Love I would be blind.
My hope is that I will be able to love the way He did... er, does.


"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails..." I Corinthians 13:4-8...


I have much to work on, but Thank You, Lord.


* {Always be sure to read the chapter before, the chapter it refers to, and the chapter after when referring to Biblical text^^)v}

Life is like art class

I forget the professor's name, but the man had some insightful things to say about art and life in general. Anyways, I took his course at Moorpark College during summer. We had been working with charcoal for landscape drawings. We were on a hill that oversaw the quiet town of Moorpark. On the hill was a dried out bush. Of course, the bush was in my view of the town and mountains in the distance, but I was compelled to draw this almost dying bush. As a horrible artist I kept on drawing over my mistake, which resulted in a very awkward, burly bush. He said it wasn't always about adding things to a painting, drawing, or sketch to make things look better. Sometimes you already have what you need, plus some extra you could do without. He suggested I make some clean-edged erasures. It worked. The bush, though dead, seemed lively in its remake.


Life isn't always about the "adding" or "getting" of things. I need this. I want that. I'll get it when...
Sometimes it's about taking the things out that take your focus off of life.


I have all I need in life. I just need to use it well.


Faith. Hope. Love. It's all I need.
I'm just so thankful God has given me more blessings than should be given i.e. family, friends, health, opportunities, etc.


* {Thank you for the things I am not yet aware of, God.}


[edit:]


I pray because I believe. I believe because He answers.
He may not answer in a way we are used to nor in a time frame we desire.
For some, it is a matter of taking the time to listen to Him... and for others it won't make sense.

Talking to myself

I pray, and I believe.
I believe because I prayed. I prayed every day for *counts* 6...7...8..9?
Almost nine years I prayed for forgiveness. Forgiveness of my own sins along with the guilt of not forgiving those who sinned against me... thinking of mainly my father.
And, while the scars remain, the pain still real if I close my eyes and recollect the nights I wished I was an orphan rather than have two parents who no longer loved each other.. I am forgiving him. The "-ing" part is important.  Forgiveness is not a one time thing. I learned this the hard way.


And now, I've come to realize that while I've been praying for this, I forgot about other important things. So I'll pray for those things, too. I pray because I believe.
If I ever. ever. have doubt.. I'll believe again because I prayed.


* {He will make a way...}