Life as a distraction

Sometimes I wonder (just as of late and not so often) if...
all of life is just one great big distraction.

This may be part of my downward trend of emotions lately (don't worry, it's just a natural effect of being in a grad program that takes so much time it becomes your life 24/7).
We are taught what should be said or done, what is inappropriate, then may possible learn there really is no right or wrong answer; sometimes you have to consider the external factors before you make a decision.

But what if all this talking about what society should and should not do, what wrongs have been committed against us, etc... is all a distraction? I guess there will always be a part of me that tries to tie everything back to... *dun dun DUN* God.

I feel distracted lately. To be honest, I did not go to church today nor have I been going consistently for a while now... I feel lost and confused without Him.

Hopefully, I will complete my thoughts at a later time. Although it's always been a habit of mine, it's now becoming a troublesome habit to start, but not finish tasks/thoughts.

*Been watching waaaaaay too much Dexter lately ;/

Opportunities to grow

Been bitter.
Been broken..
So damaged.

And yet, I still give thanks to God for providing me with opportunities to grow.

I'll be the glass half-full kind of girl (overall). And it's not about optimism exactly. It's about hope.. and faith.

I want to be a consistent person, but not one who is rigid and stuck in her ways.
As many thoughts and opinions I have, I, like everyone else in the world, am not perfect.
So as much as I want to remain the same person that I am, changing is a part of that. I want to consistently grow and become a better person. In order to do so, there will be many hardships to endure and overcome... eventually.

I guess it's time I start logging these hardships in detail... well, not here, of course :P

Expect the unexpected

"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be."
[ - Douglas Adams - ]

This has, in a myriad of ways, been quite the most interesting start to a relationship I have had -- not that I've had many relationships.

This time it's different. He knows how to make me feel comfortable, relaxed, and giddy. We joke and make fun of each other, but it's really endearing. This is the relationship we have had and continue to have... except now it's romantic. And oh, he's good at being romantic. Even though I've had two longterm, (varying degrees of) serious relationships.. this all feels so new. There isn't the usual, "It's a bit awkward or uncomfortable now, but it'll get better" -- like the kiss that is a bit too much of one thing and not enough of the other or when you have contrasting views on [fill-in-the-blank]. Eventually the kisses get better. You get to know each other a lot better and start mimicking each other's quirks without realizing.

Instead, there's a lot of, "Is this really happening^^?" "Is he really as good as you think he is or would like him to be?"
.
..
...
Better.
It is better.
And continues to get better.
^_^]v

There's so much I want to share, but I fear it might be sharing too much information all too soon. Just wait and see. I bet you couldn't have expected this~
<3

I didn't^^;