Vacations

Tranquil as a forest, but on fire within.

Once you find your center.. you are sure to win!

Sometimes I think my younger self had better composure than my current self. Why?

My eyes are tearing up when it comes to the scene where we found out that Shang's father, General Li, has died in battle.

So getting back to reality:

This weekend I'm going to Jeju Island with the Jeonnam TaLK crew <3

Part of the TaLK funds are granted for these cultural experiences, which means a lot of travelling to see various temples, folk villages, etc.

I <3 Jeju. If I haven't mentioned it before, I've always wanted to live on an island (I think it's also why I want to apply to grad schools in Hawaii). If I'm going to live in Korea, why not Jeju? But alas, God's plans led me elsewhere, which I am quite thankful for.

We were originally supposed to go earlier this month, but flights for 50+ people were hard to arrange, so we are going 4th of July weekend (i.e. the weekend before it).

I've spent the past 5 years of my life helping out at a convention during 4th of July weekend. First four were for Anime Expo and the last one was Club2theMAX (or MAX?.. I don't quite remember, but it ended up being a pre-cursor to this year's AM^2). As much as it thrills me to work 16+ hours each day for what seems like a month squeezed into a measly 4-5 days... I can subside those urges.

It's WHO I spend that time with that's got to me.

This feeling almost reminds me of how I felt during the holiday season (i.e. Thanksgiving, birthdays, Christmas, New Years). It was the hardest thing I've had to do while I've been in Korea: staying away from family. And missing this year's con means missing out on... *gish* how I sum it all in a string of words?

This is the only time I get to actually see some people. (The rest I see on a far too often basis ㅋㅋㅋ.)

Even though we only see each other one week out of the year, we've become so close; we're family <3

And not seeing them is like.. GAH! Not getting to work with them, sharing in their strife, listening to their rants, conquering obstacles together, congratulating the work others have done, and creating laughs because we're all really childish at heart... it's a lot of GAH!

Anyways, I guess I just wanted to say how I'm thankful to have a distraction this weekend. A great one at that! I'll be going to Jeju with another family of mine: Jeonnam TaLK family!

*{Watching Disney's Mulan while drinking hot cocoa -- but wait, it's summer! That's why the AC is on^^}

Prayer

Add to my list of goals:

Become a prayer warrior.

*{Faith. Hope. <3}

Summer

Summer in Korea is like a giant 찜질방 (i.e. hot and humid like a sauna).

I used to think summer in Korea was horrendous compared to SoCal, but then I forgot about the humidity, grossly huge bugs, and the rain showers.

Even though it can get hotter in SoCal, I end up sweating a lot more in Korea 'cause of the darn humidity.

I suppose I should consider the "glass half full" aspect of it: at least it's better for your skin.

The HUGE upside of Korean winter is that all the bugs DIE or go into some sort of hibernation, so there aren't annoying bugs that range from tiny little gnat-like flying critters to huge junebug-like beetles that somehow aim for my face while I'm walking ㅠ.ㅠ But it's summer now, so all those bugs are out and about.

Oh yeah, can't forget 'em mosquitoes. I guess I'm sensitive enough to the point where my bite mark remains swollen for up to two weeks after the bite.

And the rain... you think the rain would be a relieve from the hot summer. It's completely opposite. It's HOTTER and more humid. You walk around in shorts or a skirt when it's POURING RAIN~~~* I guess it's better than wearing soaked jeans, but it's a strange concept for me. You should be wearing warm clothing when it rains, not less.

I miss SoCal weather where it's summer 80-90% of the year. We're so spoiled XD

O well, one more month until I'm on a plane headed home!!! Now, just gotta figure out where I'm gonna crash in SoCal... *tinkerthinkthink*

*{So much more productive when I get home an hour earlier than normal^^;}

Oh, Korea~

I'm considering going for a jog now, but the thought of running into drunken smoker Koreans bothers me.

There are many reasons why I love Korea, and, very sparingly, there are moments when I can see myself living here permanently. Oh, and then there's *reluctant smirk*... reasons like above why I couldn't live here.

Here's what I can remember of what I "like/love" and "put up with/hate" about Korea:

• Like: being able to go for a walk/run even at midnight and not stress too much about being attacked.
  If anything, I feel confident in beating up a lotta Koreans XD Seriously though, I even see little kids walking around til 10pm on there own -- I don't condone this, but just elaborating on how much safer it is in Korea than say, oh~, LA.
• Dislike: wondering if I'll run into drunk Koreans because it's a Saturday night and people of all ages go partying, sadly.
  
  
• Like: four seasons -- I thought it's funny how we were taught that trees change color in fall, snow falls in winter, flowers bloom in spring, and the sun shines in summer 'cause it's summer about 90% of the time in SoCal^^;
• Dislike: weather changes so quickly and drastically. Winter is super cold while summer is super hot and humid. Spring is amazing, but short. Autumn is pretty, but can get pretty chilly (only in comparison to the super hot summer preceding it).
  
  
• Like: Koreans are friendly. You'll run into amazing people grocery shopping, hiking, walking to work, etc. They are open to conversation, willing to take you out for coffee, hold onto your bag on the bus (if you're standing and it seems you're having trouble carrying your heavy bag or have a lot of other things to hold. The nice thing is that you don't expect them to steal your stuff like I would if it was LA :P)
• Dislike: Koreans are unfriendly. You'll also run into those who are grumpy for life and will find any reason not to like you. Oh, you're a foreigner, you're a girl, you have eyes, you speak English, etc. Some people who seem friendly are really this latter type. They're only nice to you because they want to get something from you, but once you've fulfilled your purpose they show their true selves.
  
  
• Like: Public transportation -- you can get pretty much anywhere you need to using buses, trains, subway, and taxis. It's reliable and cheap(er than the states)! There are flat-screen LCD TVs on all the buses that travel between provinces.
• Dislike: Korean people don't know how to drive. Sure, they are way better reverse park-ers than I'll ever be, but they can.not.drive.
  
  
• Like: Things are cheaper in Korea. Taxes are built into the cost when you pay for things, and there's no tipping!
• Dislike: Since the standard of living is lower in Korea, minimum wage is super low, too. I always try to purchase my groceries like fruits and vegetables from the halmunees on the street to help support the local people (though they must likely commuted from the country side to get here).
  
  
• Like: Bathroom stalls have no huge cracks where it's possible to peep on others >.<
• Dislike: It seems that all Korean bathrooms smell the same. Okay, that's not true, but it ranges between smelling like wet mold, gross cleaning supplies, urine, smoke, or a strange combination of these smells.
  

There are plenty more things to write, but I'll leave it for another time. Let's just say the above list is my love hate list of Korea #1.

*{A little over a month until I go home and see my family! <3}

Hopeful versus optimistic

What does it mean to be optimistic when you don't believe in a greater power?

I forget what the exact difference is between being painfully optimistic versus being ever so hopeful -- but there is something. [My high school junior English teacher gave a talk in chapel about it, and it's always stuck with me even though the teacher doesn't remember having me as his student. I know because I visited the campus once as a senior in college^^]

It had something to do with..

Optimism is taking the other option that isn't sadness, so you act happy. You smile, and say good things will happen.

Hope, as long as it's mixed with faith, is trusting that God has laid out a plan for you that will glorify His name and bring you happiness (though it may sometimes cause you strife and tears.. referring to Ecclesiates.. "a time for everything").

I hit my all time low many times in the past specially during high school and college. I no longer will hit that all-time low in my life because I know God is with me, and I've begun to trust in Him again.

I am currently afraid that certain family members are hitting their all time lows... and a lot of their problems resemble mine. It hurts to see them in pain, and it hurts even more so because I know what their pain feels like. I will continue to be there as a "shoulder to lean on," give tough love advice when it comes down to it, and pray pray PRAY for them, but it's up to them how they want to handle the situation: with graceful humility and great compassion or bitter anger and painful tears.

I hope they realize that no matter what kind of pain that has been incurred upon them by others that there is one constant in their lives: God's love. There is a better future out there waiting to happen. Just trust in Him.

*{Prayer is one of the best gifts you can give me and others. I don't need material things. Just pray for each other.}

Home in > 38 days

If there ever were a time when I could write, it'd probably have been when I was in high school XP

It's been 10.5 months of living in a foreign country.

You'd think by now my Korean was fluent, but it's not. So I'm going to stay another 6 months after my contract is up (i.e. I'm signing onto another half-year contract once I found out about the results of my extension application). Hopefully this time.. I'll be placed in 시골!!! Or literally, the countryside. I love 광주. Gwangju has become a 2nd 2nd home to me. [I have too many homes (LA, Oxnard, Seoul, SD, etc).]

But~~ it is still a city, and it can get a bit overwhelming at times.

Okay, do not assume I am a sheltered lil' girl who gets flustered at every new thing thrown at her.

I mean.. would I really request to go to the COUNTRYSIDE if I wasn't able to handle myself^^? I'd be alone there where shops, hopefully, close at 8pm (though chances are it may close at 5 or 6pm). My home back in the states is LA. One of 'em at least. And LA.. sadly has made me a meaner person. I needed a break, which is why I came to Korea through the TaLK program. It's designed to place scholars in rural areas, so children in those areas can be exposed to different cultures and learn English from a native speaker. While my school is in a pretty rural area where some days all you smell is d-d-o-n-g (poop) no matter what part of town you walk in... the apartment I live in is in south Gwangju. Albeit Gwangju is itself considered 시골, it is still a metropolitan city. It'll definitely grow exponentially in the next 10 years.

Climbed Mudeungsan: One for the bucket list.

Oh, and instead of re-posting my Korea bucket list... how about a to-do list of things to do when I go back to SoCal for a mere two weeks of summer vacation?

2011 SoCal to-do list:

• Hug and kiss my nieces and nephews!!! <3
• Hug my other family members XD
• Apply for F4 visa at the Korean embassy
• Eat the following foods: Thai, Japanese(mainly sushi), Cuban, Vietnamese, Indian, Mexican!!!! (burritos, carne asada, chips n salsa, quesadillas, and more!), Yogurtland (just 'cause it's tradition w/ friends), dried mangoes!, REAL cheesecake, Subways (I miss sandwiches!), and anything else that comes to mind
• Bake the following foods: cookies, cupcakes/cakes, cheesecake
• Go for a drive and possibly SPEED with the windows rolled down, music blasting, and crazy dancing
• Oh, the last one reminds me of... Ride a bike! (Also, possibly ride Rambo's motorcycle kuahaha~~ he'd be the main dude though, and I'd just be piggy backing, but that's cool, too)
• GO SHOOTING!
• Meet and hang out with as many family and friends as possible (possibly hug them until they can't breathe for a while after)
• This may be cheesy, but I want to hit up a Dave & Buster's at one point in time. I really like arcades. Not that we don't have any in Korea.. there are SO many here, but it's different playing with family and friends.
• Oh, doi!! See 4 very loved ones get married. Um, not all to each other. It's a double wedding <3
• I will add more when it comes to mind.

*{Lifehouse has amazing music <3}

Off the mark

I understand there is a problem with planning things out toooo strictly, but it helps to have some general idea of what you're working towards: a goal.

These goal posts help remind you why you do what you are doing, and I'm currently derailed from what I was aspiring to become. Got to find my way back to Him.

I find that I will fail this in the first few weeks... weak that I am. But I pray continuously that I'll gain the courage for these set of words that will be added to my lifetime goal:

Share the gospel with at least one person a day.

Whether or not the person has already "heard" it before or not.. if I really believe what I believe, then why am I keeping it to myself? If I say what I say, but not walk the walk, what does that say of me? I am failing as a child of God if I can not keep to this goal.

*{Faith. Hope. <3}