Talking to myself

I pray, and I believe.
I believe because I prayed. I prayed every day for *counts* 6...7...8..9?
Almost nine years I prayed for forgiveness. Forgiveness of my own sins along with the guilt of not forgiving those who sinned against me... thinking of mainly my father.
And, while the scars remain, the pain still real if I close my eyes and recollect the nights I wished I was an orphan rather than have two parents who no longer loved each other.. I am forgiving him. The "-ing" part is important.  Forgiveness is not a one time thing. I learned this the hard way.


And now, I've come to realize that while I've been praying for this, I forgot about other important things. So I'll pray for those things, too. I pray because I believe.
If I ever. ever. have doubt.. I'll believe again because I prayed.


* {He will make a way...}