Perceptions

Think of three animals. I suppose you can pick the animals you like the most in order from 1 to 3. Got it? Now add a description of each animal.

Here are mine:

1. Penguin: Adorably fluffy
2. Elephant: Big and wise
3. Meercat: Quick, yet cautious.
   

Now, I have already tried this before, so I'll admit my answers might be a "cheat," but I tried to create as earnest of an answer as possible.

The animals are perceptions of yourself.

The first description describes how you see yourself.

In my case, I see myself as adorably fluffy -- err, I don't really see myself that way, but anyways...

The second description describes how others see you. In my case, others see me as big and wise.

The last is how you really are: I'm quick, yet cautious (or at least, I try to be).

Sure, it's not true, and it's fun to play around, but it got me thinking about my past and present perceptions of myself.

While I admit people have various qualities in their personalities some are more prominent than others, and depending on the surroundings such people or time, they also reveal different personalities at different points in time.

Here are the more prominent qualitative traits I thought I had:

• Toddler - early elementary years: idealistic, naive, trusting, and eager
  
• Late elementary - middle school years: shy, somewhat emo, pessimistic with a tint of optimism, start of geekdom and tomboyish ways
  
• High school - early college years: still shy, now depressed, working hard to be hopeful, full of angst with twinges of love mixed in, rebellious, yet compassionate, logically illogical
  
• Late college years: still lost with thoughts of hopeful redemption on the side of depression, adventure-seeking young adult, introverted ways now becoming extroverted, beginning to acknowledge change is a hard, but necessary thing
  
• 1 year post-graduation: ???
  

And so here we are one year after graduation. Okay, it hasn't been a full year, but it might as well have been. I've grown so much this past year. I've revived the sarcasm from my childhood days, which I seemed to have lost during my college years. While I am no dare devil, I am adventure-driven. I love experiencing new things for the sake of learning about other cultures and meeting new people. I am vibrant, yet pensive. I am selfish, yet giving.
What else? Oh!
I can finally say I am no longer depressed the way I was for many years. The many years full of traumatic experiences that comes along with a dysfunctional family. I would have liked for things to have turned out differently, but am glad of what my family and I made of it. I absolutely love my family. I guess enough time has passed that I don't hold grudges the way I used to. I'm still hurt, but am finally starting to heal. No need to pick at the scabs you forget you have.

I still have much more to go, but I'm slowly beginning to appreciate.. well, everything in life. There is a time for everything. A time to be happy, be grumpy, be angry, be hurt, and be sad. Life will never be exactly the way you want it to be, but maybe we're not deserving of life if we always ask for more. I'm still lost, and I don't know if I'll ever feel settled, but there are certain foundations in my life: family, friends, and God.

So how would I describe myself 1 year post-graduation?
Answer: Better than I think I am. I have friends and family who love me, so what more do I need? I'll never stop growing and will most definitely never stop loving others.


I used to think I was scatter-brained, but a friend of mine helped me realize I'm not --

Miko: 08.April.2011 -- 12:47 am

Whenever I held your hand, you felt calm, very collected.

*{Korea has become my 2nd home.}